April 7, 2020

March 23, 2020: I woke up about 3:45 from a nightmare.

It seems I had gone to Texas (to see my family or something-no idea why I was there but I am from Texas) and when I tried to come back to Missouri where I live, the police were at every border crossing and refusing to let people in/out because Texas wasn’t part of the US anymore.

My 20 year old daughter was with me and we were both born in Texas. So they said we were the property of Texas and we had to stay. It was unclear as to what would be expected of us. It was very clear that we were not free.

But I knew how to drive at night without lights (my dad who died last year and whom I miss terribly had taught me this) and we waited until the new moon (one happens tonight/tomorrow and I knew this when I went to bed last night) and I know all the back roads because my dad taught me that also. He worked oilfield for 42 years and knew unmarked and unpaved roads well and taught me how to navigate without a compass or map. So we were able to sneak out by driving halfway across the state and all the way up into the panhandle and go north into Oklahoma and Kansas. There is an area there that is a NASA “dark sky” area meaning zero light pollution, so no lights.

But when we got back into the US, we were told we were illegal aliens even though we both have US passports since we couldn’t explain how we got into the US. I had turned off the navigation system in the car and we had taken batteries out of our phones so we couldn’t be traced via satellite. We knew we were being watched – that’s why I had turned everything off. But there were cameras everywhere once we got out of Texas (Ring doorbells, private security cameras – all of which the police now controlled) and we just started appearing on cameras but they couldn’t trace where we’d come from because no satellite tracking.

And then police tried to confiscate our birth certificates which we had with us (?) and our US passports. And then I woke up…… in a state of panic and shock and terror.

I’m not usually one to wake up or to remember dreams. Usually only if they are bad – really bad or just really weird – do I wake up. In fact, this is only the third dream in 52 years that I remember. And in one I escaped aliens by staying in the darkness. The other I drove into a void on my commune home from a bad job. They all involve escape via total darkness.

I’m also not one to read much into dreams. However, this one isn’t hard figure out. At all.

It’s part Trump authoritarianism, white nationalism (even though I’m white), part Handmaid’s Tale (which I haven’t seen or read, but from what I understand of it), part Texas nationalism (yes there is that).

The other thing is that 2-3 days after this dream, Texas set up check points at the border exactly where they were in my dream.


Last night I dreamed that New York city was on fire, burning. I kept flying over it back and forth. Would land, talk to someone in my life (there was a classmate from elementary school?) but I would just circle around it. I just recently moved to New Jersey after living in NYC for 10 years. My parents are in PA with my sister in quarantine and haven’t been home in almost a month. I think it all feels like I’m there in the ground zero, but like I did in real life, I was able to fly out of the danger.

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