April 2, 2020

I had such a strange dream last night. I can’t shake the heavy fog of sleep.

I was with friends. We were out watching something. Someone was being funny or entertaining and I was lost in the watching of them.

Then this woman who I didn’t know was there and she was ordinary. Like a woman in her 50’s you’d see anywhere around here.

And as I was lost in watching this person do a trick or a balancing act the woman looked at me and was a bit startled.

She said “You are the only person I’ve come across who knows they will die in under a year and are ok with it”

As if she just reads people’s inner truths.

And it startled me. I recognized its truth in a sense but I wasn’t trying to be vulnerable so it made me feel exposed and I cried and felt all the hurt and said I didn’t know how.

She said of course you do. You do it with love.

And I said it hurts because of all the sad I’ll leave behind and she said do it with love.